Episode 9
by Ilovedesserts
Summary: My thoughts on the episode for the show...warning, MAJOR character death. Proceed with caution. HOPE, HOPE, HOPE I am wrong but I couldn't get this out of my head. One-shot. These characters are not my own. I'm just borrowing them and hope this story is so far off what actually happens.


**PROCEED WITH CAUTION...MAJOR CHARACTER DEATH. THIS STORY IS SAD, BUT IT'S MY VERSION OF HOW I SEE THIS SEASON GOING. I'VE THOUGHT ABOUT THE SHOW A LOT OVER THE LAST WEEK AND CHATTED WITH A FEW FELLOW FANS. I'M NOT ADDRESSING THE SPECIFIC CRIME STORIES, BUT HOW I SEE THINGS GOING FOR SOME OF OUR FAVORITE CHARACTERS. I HOPE, I HOPE, I HOPE I AM WRONG. PROCEED WITH CAUTION. YOU'VE BEEN WARNED.**

* * *

"Officer down! Officer down!" he yelled into his radio, so loudly, hoping that would make help arrive even faster. He threw his radio to the ground and shrugged out of his suit coat. "Stay with me! You've got to stay with me, Sweetheart," Andy called to her. He put the coat over her, knowing that she would go into shock from the gunshot wound and continued to apply pressure to the wounds. It had all started as a simple morning, and not even a few hours into it, it was turning into a nightmare.

They were knee-deep in a case, but they had finally had a full night's sleep, something Andy and Sharon were grateful to get. Both had recently been commenting how tiresome the job was getting. Andy had joked about retirement when on their short, two-day honeymoon, telling Sharon if they retired they could take a few weekend trips a year to just unwind and enjoy life. She'd remained silent, and finally as they were driving home from their short honeymoon getaway to the Napa Valley, she'd told him the idea wasn't a bad one.

 _"Andy, after my health scare the last few weeks and your health issues over the last couple years, your idea of retirement isn't a bad one at all," she smiled as she looked to him driving. She shrugged when he looked back to her._

 _"Well, Mrs. Flynn, I'm rubbing off on you already," he grinned._

 _"That's still not settled," she grinned at him, "the name as well as the idea you are rubbing off on me," she chuckled. "I will admit that I'm thinking about both, the name and the retirement idea. Both are currently winning me over to your side."_

 _Andy nodded as he grinned and gripped her hand, where he ran his hand over her rings, yes, now plural, her engagement ring, which he'd grown accustomed to her having on her hand and now, her wedding band that had joined it. "I'll take 'thinking about it' as a win," he winked. They'd laughed and relaxed on the rest of their drive home._

Since that time, and well, since really the wedding and the weeks leading up to it, they hadn't had much time to rest, so both were exhausted. The wedding had been absolutely amazing, and they'd enjoyed their quick getaway from it, but it was too short, and Sharon still wasn't feeling 100 percent, so again, they hadn't gotten much rest. Couple that with the kids visiting, the holidays approaching, the quiet morning they'd had this morning at the condo had been a much-needed break.

"I just love Christmas," Sharon had said earlier in the morning as she stood in front of the Christmas tree in her robe with her first cup of coffee. Andy walked up beside her and wrapped his arm around her shoulders as he silently nodded in agreement. He kissed her head as he pulled her to his side.

"How are you feeling this morning?" he asked before taking a sip of his coffee.

"Better, much better," she nodded. "The new medication is working so well. I should have gotten into the doctor sooner."

"Good. Wait, are those Santa cat socks?" he made a face as he glanced to her feet. She had on her robe, a t-shirt, and Christmas flannel pants, and somehow, she'd commented to him while pouring her coffee that she was still cold, in Southern California.

"Yes," she grinned at him as she looked to him and then looked down to her feet. "Rick found these and somehow said they reminded him of me. I don't know why. We've never had a cat, but they are festive," she said as she held her foot out for her to agree.

"They are something, that's for sure," Andy continued to make a face at them as he sipped his coffee.

Sharon patted his chest, "I can only imagine what he found for you if he thought these were perfect for me."

Andy rolled his eyes, "Can't wait until Christmas."

"Yes! It's just a week away, Andy," she grinned. "I am so glad that with the wedding, the crazy case schedule we've had, and with everything, we have the tree up and house decorated."

"We have great kids, Sharon," he nodded. The two had returned from their honeymoon to find the kids all still at the condo. Rusty was no surprise, but Ricky and Emily had told the couple they would have to leave before they got back from their trip. They'd decided to surprise them instead.

 _"Surprise!" the kids had said when Sharon and Andy walked back into the condo after their trip. They found all three kids curled up watching Christmas movies, and to add to the holiday spirit, they found the tree setup, with all the ornament boxes stacked in the corner. The kids had done the hard work of setting up the tree and putting on the lights, but they'd waited for their parents to return to decorate._

 _"Oh, my goodness!" Sharon exclaimed, as she squeezed Andy's arm "What have you done?"_

 _"Surprised you," Rusty shrugged. "Plus, Ricky mentioned if we did this, you'd be so thrilled we wouldn't have to get you a wedding present, which we've stacked over there," Rusty pointed to another pile, closer to the dining room table, full of wedding gifts. "Welcome home."_

 _"Welcome back, Mom and Andy," Emily stood to give them both a hug. "My flight actually leaves tomorrow, Ricky too," she nodded. "We wanted to be here to surprise you and well, since we can't be home for Christmas, we wanted to enjoy it today. Hope you're up for it and not too tired."_

 _"Eeew," Rusty made a face, "can we not discuss being too tired after their trip."_

 _"You are the one with the mind in the gutter, little brother," Ricky nodded as he hugged the couple. "The rest of us might have thought it, but you always say it. Thanks for the visual now."_

 _"Just stop," Andy shook his head. "Please."_

 _"Ahh, come on, DAD," Ricky enunciated as he grinned. "Emily and I can't remember the last time we had a happy Christmas with two parents. We're not as lucky as Rusty to live here," he flashed a grin._

 _"Well, let us freshen up," Sharon threw a glare to Ricky and a shake of the head to Andy to drop it, as she turned to the kids, "and we'll be glad to help with the decorating. You can get started if you want."_

 _"I already did, Mom," Emily nodded. "I made Christmas cookies this morning. Ricky," she hooked her thumb, "set up his elf village," she rolled her eyes, "and Rusty paced the condo worried you'd be mad we started without the two of you."_

 _Sharon giggled as she put an arm around Andy's side, "I'm not upset at all. I'm very, very happy," she grinned at Andy._

As the two continued to stare at the tree earlier that morning, they enjoyed the peaceful silence. Rusty had flown out of the house a half hour earlier. He'd taken his last exams for the semester just a few days prior, and with time off for a couple weeks, he was working a lot in Andrea's office. He had sent in his law school applications and was awaiting word. He'd had a long talk with Sharon and Andy just the day before.

 _"If I get into law school here in LA, is it okay if I stay here, like live here still?" he had asked over dinner. With the case, it was their first evening home in a couple days, and they were catching up on some much-needed family time._

 _Sharon, with her fork in her mouth, glanced to Andy, and he put his fork down and looked to Rusty. "Rusty, of course. This is your home. Where did you think you'd go? Did you think we'd kick you out?"_

 _"Well, I mean, I'm going to be graduating from college soon. I've been taking classes like crazy to finish on time, and well, I'm going to be 22. I can see why you'd want me to leave, and you've just gotten married," he shrugged._

 _"Rusty, this is your home, always," Sharon smiled._

 _"Well, yeah, but both Ricky and Emily moved out when they were 22," he admitted._

 _"They weren't in law school," Andy added. "You are welcome to go to school and stay here," he nodded and continued, "at least, if that's what you want. We'll support you no matter what, and I mean that in all areas. It seems silly for you to get your own place when you can live her. We'll be financing you either way, but this is our home, all of us," Andy explained._

 _"Okay, Rusty offered a small smile. "Good. Thanks. If I get into school in LA, I'm going to plan to stay here. It's settled," he nodded._

They'd enjoyed their evening with Rusty, and then this morning, he'd flown out the door to get to court. Now, Sharon and Andy were enjoying a lazy morning. She'd told everyone to report back to work at 10, unless something changed.

Sharon and Andy's phones going off just a few moments later, as they were enjoying their solitude, alerted them to that change.

"Provenza," Andy held up her phone, as Sharon looked to hers. "My call seems to be the head of the surveillance crew we have setup right now."

The two took their calls, and both quickly sprang into action around the condo. It seemed their latest suspect was on the move, and they were heading to the scene.

"I'll drive," he told her as they both clipped on their weapons and badges.

"I don't mind driving," she told him. "The doctor said I was fine to drive now."

"Sharon, please," Andy nodded to her and continued, "let me drive. It's bad enough I can't go in the field without my commanding officer, who happens to be my wife. Now, I'm not complaining because in the whole scope of this setup, I get to spend more and more time with you both in the office and on the rare occasions we do get called out to a scene. Let me drive. Let my male ego win one, at least for today. My wife can then boss me around all she wants," he flashed a grin.

"Fine," she smiled at him. "I was going to let you drive. I just enjoy hearing you grovel a bit," she winked to him as she grabbed her things. As she started to open the door, Andy tugged on her hand, and she turned back to him.

"To tide me over the next 12 hours or so, hopefully not more," he grinned as he pulled her in for a lingering kiss. She smiled at him as she pulled back and then surprised him by kissing him quickly as they started out the door.

Now, as Andy kept pressure on her, it felt like an eternity, but he could hear sirens. He also could tell others were joining them.

"Flynn! Flynn!" he heard and didn't want to take his eyes off Sharon, who was on the ground and seemed unresponsive. "Flynn, who was shot?" he asked as Provenza ran toward him.

Andy couldn't speak; he continued to apply pressure. "It's Sharon," he said in a loud whisper as he felt Provenza drop to his side.

"Flynn, I ran. I don't run, but you called out the officer down. Oh, I had a feeling," Provenza looked up to the rest of the team arriving.

"Go," he waved. "Get that ambulance here immediately. Officer down; it's the commander. Get them here NOW!" Provenza yelled.

"Flynn, Nolan took out the shooter. We were ambushed," Provenza started talking as he tried to help Andy. Andy just focused on Sharon.

"Sharon, wake up," Andy called to her. He moved her coat and moved to cradle her head now that Provenza was applying pressure to the gunshot wound that appeared to have hit her just above her vest.

"Move out of the way," Amy yelled, as she rushed up with the paramedics. Mike rushed in with them.

"I was running here with the small medical kit I have when the ambulance arrived," Mike called out. "I didn't know who it was, and I," he stopped and his face turned white as he realized it was Sharon on the ground. "Andy, let them work on her," he called to him.

Provenza moved out of the way as the paramedic took over. Mike gestured for Andy to move so the other could step in.

"Sir, we will take it from her. Your commander is in good hands," she told Andy.

"She's my wife, too," Andy said as he finally found his voice. He continued to kneel on the ground, until he felt Mike and Provenza stand him up. He stood and ran his hand through his hair, only to realize he had Sharon's blood all over his hands and now himself.

"She's bleeding so much," Andy wailed, as he watched the paramedics work. The scene was eerily quiet as they worked. They quickly got her onto the stretcher, and one of the paramedics even almost got on the stretcher to continue applying pressure.

"I'll stay as the incident commander," Mike told the men. "Provenza, call me," he nodded to Provenza.

"One can ride," another paramedic told the group.

"He's going. That's his wife, and she's our boss, all of us," he nodded to Andy. "Go."

Andy just numbly followed the stretcher as the moved quickly. He wasn't sure how much time passed, but he grabbed hold of Sharon's hand. It didn't' feel like it had felt earlier, all nice and warm when the two had been sipping coffee at home. They worked to get her stabilized, and he continued to hold her hand unless he was in the way for the paramedics.

"She's been dealing with smoke inhalation," he snapped out of his fog long enough to look at the paramedic. "We had a bomb go off at work a few months ago. It affected her lungs. She's recently been dealing with that, on top of the flu. Doc just put her on new meds for her lungs, but he said she should make a full recovery eventually. We thought she was fine, but the flu really seemed to set off her breathing issues," he explained. "I forget the name of her medicine," he shook his head.

"Lieutenant, it's okay for now. Thank you for the information," the woman nodded to him as she patted his hand. "We'll do our best."

Andy just nodded as he looked back to Sharon. She coughed, which alerted them because they had oxygen on her, and she was trying to cough under it.

"Sharon!" Andy exclaimed as he moved closer to her. Her eyes fluttered open, and they grew wide when she saw the blood on him.

"You've been shot, but you're going to be okay," he told her. "Stay with us, Sweetheart. Stay with us," he pleaded. Sharon reached up and moved her oxygen.

"Andy, I love you," she coughed out to him. "Take care the kids," she said, not completing whole sentences.

"You rest; you hear me?" he told her. "I love you too, so much. You rest. You're going to be okay. You have to be okay, Sharon," he pleaded. He squeezed her hand, and she closed her eyes and gave him a slight nod. "I have to say if you want the kids home for the holidays, this isn't how to do it. You stay with me. We just got married. You are the love of my life. You stay with me," he pleaded again. Andy put the oxygen back on her face, as he noted she had closed her eyes in pain again. The ambulance moved quickly through the street, and what felt like an eternity of a ride, was probably only a few minutes. He was unaware of the work the paramedic was doing.; Andy was just focused on Sharon.

When they reached the hospital, Andy was surprised at the size of the medical staff assembled at the ambulance door when it was opened. Someone, he wasn't sure who, escorted him off the ambulance as a team almost pounced on Sharon. He heard them screaming orders, and like a flash, they had Sharon off into the hospital. He started to run after her.

"Lieutenant, we will take good care of your commander," he was told by a nurse who had her hand gently on his arm as they walked inside. "Let me show you where you can sit. We're going to need any information you can give us and contact information for her family."

"I am her family, you idiot!" he screamed and instantly felt badly about doing so. He shook his head at the nurse and dropped his head into his hands as he started to break down. "I'm sorry, but she's my wife and my boss. She's the commander; I'm one of her lieutenants, but she's my wife," he started to sob.

"I'm sorry; I didn't realize," the nurse gave him a sympathetic look as she guided him to some chairs in a private corner. "They are working on her now, and we will update you as soon as we know. Right now, if you can give us a list of any medications or allergies, that will help."

Andy nodded, "Just keep her alive," he said as he took the paper and pen she was offering to write down what he could remember. The blood on his hands left a smear mark on the paper, and the nurse nodded at him and squeezed his hand as she stood.

"I'll be right back I'm going to take them this information and see what I can find," she nodded to him.

Andy was left alone for only moments, but to him, the moments felt like an eternity. Soon, Provenza came running toward him, visibly shaken.

"What have they said?" he asked. "I got here as quickly as I could, and I don't care if they tow my car, but it's just outside the doors."

"Nothing," Andy grimaced in agony as he stood and started to pace. "Nothing, yet. The nurse just took back the list of medications I wrote down for her. I told the paramedic about her breathing issues. Nothing, no information," Andy nodded.

Provenza nodded to him too, as he took Andy's arm and guided him to the chairs. "I called Rusty on the way. I had his number, but I didn't take the time to call the other kids. He's on his way, and he was going to call all of them, both of the girls and both the boys." Andy nodded, and Provenza continued, "I called Patrice too. She's on her way. Mike is at the scene running that. We just need to be positive. She's a tough one, as tough as they come. Did she regain consciousness yet?"

"Only briefly, to tell me she loved me and to take care of the kids," Andy ran his hand through his hair again and started to cry. "She's got to make it, Provenza."

"Lieutenant," the nurse called to him, and Andy looked up and jumped up quickly. "I don't have an update on Commander Raydor yet," she explained, and Andy interrupted her.

"Flynn," he nodded. "It's Commander Flynn. She just changed it," he bent his head and felt Provenza put his arm on him. "She just changed it yesterday."

 _"Andy, I didn't have a meeting over lunch," she looked to him sheepishly on the drive home the night before. They'd been working almost 48 hours straight and were desperate to get home, shower, change, eat, and sleep. Andy looked to her from where he was driving and saw a look of guilt on her face._

 _"You lied?" he asked. "I tried to pull you away for lunch today, and you told me you had a meeting."_

 _"I know," she waved her hand as she sighed. "I'm sorry. I couldn't tell you. I had an appointment."_

 _Andy's eyes grew wide, "Sharon! Tell me you didn't go to a doctor's appointment? You told me you were going to let me know if you weren't feeling well. Sharon, what's wrong now?" He stopped when Sharon put her arm on his._

 _"Andy," she smiled sweetly at him, "would you let me finish, please?" She gave him a look of love, one he couldn't describe, so he sighed and rolled his eyes at her._

 _"I couldn't tell you about my appointment," she started and bit her lip before she continued, "because my appointment was about you." When Andy gave her an odd look, she smiled even brighter. "Andy, I pulled a few strings, because I've discovered that there are times we can use our jobs to our advantage and it's still not breaking the rules," she grinned. "I pulled a few strings and got an appointment to change my name. I changed it over lunch," she told him as she dug out the paperwork from her purse. "See?" she grinned._

 _Andy was aware he was driving, but he took her paperwork and quickly glanced to it to see that indeed, she'd changed her name to Sharon Raydor Flynn on her new paperwork. He looked to her with surprise, and she shrugged. "I know we discussed this, and you haven't pushed me to make a decision. I want you to know keeping Raydor was never about keeping Jack in my life. It was everything about keeping a name I had made for myself, a name I'd had longer than my maiden name, and a name I'd given to well, two of my children, even if Rusty felt it was too dorky," she smiled. "I want you to know Raydor is part of who I am, but I want Flynn to be part of me, forever. So, it's an early Christmas present, and I didn't wrap it, but I changed my name," she said almost in a giddy tone._

 _"That's a pretty wonderful gift," he smiled at her, a tear in the corner of his eye. "I'm honored you'd want to change your name. I didn't love you any less for keeping Raydor, but it makes me so happy you wanted to change it to Flynn. Thank you, Sweetheart."_

 _"I realized I'll do anything for you, Andy," she leaned over and kissed him quickly on the cheek as they continued their drive home. "Just let me be the one to tell Provenza," she grinned._

 _"Oh, just let me be there when you do it," he chuckled. "Better yet, can I suggest we get you a new name plaque and give it to him as a present?"_

Andy looked up to see the nurse and Provenza looking at him, and he continued. "She legally changed her name yesterday," he explained, more to Provenza, as he was staring at Andy wide-eyed. He turned to the nurse, "Sharon and I just got married less than a month ago."

"I see," the nurse nodded as she glanced to her clipboard. "Lieutenant, I'm sorry to ask, but I do need you to fill this out for your wife. It will help with everything. As soon as I have an update on Commander Flynn," she looked at both men as she said that, "I will be back."

Andy sat back in the chair, staring at nothing, with the pen in his hand. Provenza sat next to him and glanced to the paperwork. Andy didn't move to start filling it out, so Provenza took it out of his hand and started to fill it out. He knew just about all the information on the form. It was silent for a few moments.

"What happened?" Provenza asked.

"She was shot," Andy sighed.

"Flynn," Provenza sighed as he continued to write.

"That bullet was meant for me. She pushed me out of the way as we heard it fired. She saved me. Sharon tried to sacrifice herself for me. All that people say about not working together, well, Sharon took a bullet because I know she didn't want someone she loved to be hurt. She probably worried I wouldn't survive it."

"She will survive it, Flynn. She will," Provenza nodded. The two were silent for a few minutes, as Provenza finished filling out the form. He had Andy look at everything before Andy just nodded, signed his name, and then Provenza took it to the nurse at her station. He returned and sat back down with Andy, and shortly after, Patrice came rushing to them.

"Oh, Andy," Patrice sighed as she pulled him in for a hug. "Any word?"

"Nothing," Provenza told her.

"Do you want to clean up, wash off all this blood?" Patrice gestured to Andy.

"No, not until I know about Sharon. It's her blood. I'm fine," he said as his voice broke.

"Andy!" Rusty rushed in, the phone still to his ear. "What's going on? I've got Ricky on the phone."

Andy started to cry at the sight of Rusty and just shook his head. Provenza stepped in. "No update. She was shot and bleeding pretty badly. She woke up briefly on the ride here and recognized Flynn, but nothing so far."

Rusty's face turned ghostly white as he processed what had been said. He still had the phone to his ear, so Provenza took it from him to finish speaking to Ricky. Rusty moved toward Andy, and the two pulled each other in for an embrace. When Andy pulled back, he nodded to the chairs where he and Rusty sat to wait on news.

"Family of Commander Flynn?" they looked up to find an ER doctor before them with a clipboard. Andy and Rusty both jumped up and walked toward him with Provenza and Patrice in tow.

"I'm her husband, Lieutenant Andy Flynn, and this is our son, Rusty," he nodded to Rusty. "These are our friends. We work together," he explained.

"Lieutenant, could I speak with you," he looked to Andy.

"Please, they are all here. They can hear this. What's going on? How is Sharon?" he asked.

The doctor gave a slight frown, "I'm sorry; we did everything we could. She lost too much blood, and the shot was right here in the neck, near her carotid artery, if you are familiar with it, "he gestured with his hand. "She lost too much blood. I'm so very, very sorry. We lost her."

Andy let out a sob, as did Rusty. Provenza and Patrice moved quickly to both of them to embrace them.

"You lost her," Andy said between sobs. "You can't lose her. She can't be gone. We just got married. She hasn't seen Rusty graduate from college. We were talking about retiring next summer after he graduated. She doesn't know where he's going to law school," he started to ramble on, as he covered his face.

"Mom, Sharon, she can't be gone," Rusty said as he collapsed into Patrice. "She can't be. She's only been in my life seven years. She can't be gone," Rusty sobbed as he started to shake.

"I wish we could have done more. We did everything possible. Please, this way," he gestured. "Let's get you all some privacy."

Four days passed, and Andy sat outside the church, not sure how he'd gotten to this point. He played with his wedding ring as he sat, alone, for the first time in days, in silence. The hospital seemed like a distant memory. Sharon had been gone from the Earth for four days already, and Andy was ready to crawl into a hole and die himself. He'd been surrounded by family most of the time, everyone worried he'd go back to the bottle. He wouldn't; he couldn't. He was stronger than that, and he knew Sharon would want him to remain that strong.

 _He had spent an agonizing few hours at the hospital with Rusty, Provenza, and Patrice. He was aware the team had come by at some point, but he'd sat at Sharon's bedside holding her cold hand until they came to take her away. He'd heard, but not processed, all the doctor had said. So much had been taken care of for him, that some day in the future, he'd have to thank everyone. The kids had been called. Andy was given the chance to tell them himself, and he had, but he hadn't made the call. Provenza had done that; Andy had just sobbed with both kids on the phone as he'd told them. Provenza had then called Andy's kids, and he'd repeated the process with them as well. Telling four kids over the phone hadn't been easy, especially with Nicole out of town on business. When Andy had finally been led out of the hospital with Provenza, Patrice, and Rusty, he'd been greeted with a line of officers, all of the team, along with many, many other officers who had come when they'd heard of the death of a police commander. They lined the hallway from the ER to the outside, almost a tunnel for him as he passed. All were silent as he made his way through the group, still covered in Sharon's blood. Provenza's car had been there, and open. As Andy had been guided into it, he'd turned to see the team had fallen in behind him as he'd left the hospital. He turned and almost couldn't look at their faces._

 _Mike, his longtime friend, who had taken control of the crime scene. With him there, Andy had no idea how many hours had passed. Julio, the man who had lost his own wife, stood there a tear in his own eye, and sad. He'd been a cheerleader of sorts for the couple, and now, here, the two had finally gotten together to only lose each other. Amy, the woman who was her own mini-Sharon with her tough attitude and incredible work ethic. Andy knew Sharon was proud of the detective Amy had become and was glad she'd been right in choosing her to be part of the team years ago. Buzz, the man who was almost like another son to Sharon, the man who watched her back all too often. He stood there, and it was obvious he'd been crying too, all the team, the strong team, and something had shaken them to the core. Nolan, the young detective who had seen too much sadness in his short life, too much brutality, stood there, stone-faced, and next to him stood Cami, the almost bossy new detective, who herself, had a lot of loss in her short life. The team, Sharon's team, stood there, his closest friends, and no one could say anything. Provenza put his hand on Andy's arm and gestured for him to drop into the car, and Andy did, but he gave a single nod to the team first. Andy snapped out of his haze and realized he needed to watch out for the kid, and he turned, just in time to meet Rusty's gaze. Rusty nodded to him, his face red from crying, and Patrice helped him into the car. Andy turned back to the team._

 _"Thank you," he choked out and lowered himself into the car. Nothing was said on the drive back to the condo, Sharon's condo, their home._

Now, as he continued to sit on the bench outside the church, he hung his head and thought back over the past four days.

"Andy," he heard and looked up to find the kind eyes of the priest looking at him. "Take as much time as you need, but we can start when you are ready." Andy nodded and looked to the ground. He felt the priest come and sit next to him.

"I don't know how to go on," Andy said quietly as he continued to look at the ground.

"You will, in time," the priest told him. "You've made it four days. You will. You'll never forget her. You loved her, but you will go on. She would want that."

Andy just nodded, as he continued to stare at the ground. "I don't remember much of the last four days. I know the kids showed up. Food arrived, all of it vegetarian, I've been told. I keep waiting for Sharon to walk in the door. Her makeup is still out on the counter. Her clothes are still hanging in the bathroom, and there are notes, reminders, she has all over the condo. Just yesterday, I was looking for some paperwork, and I came across the last wedding bill on our desk. It had a note she'd written on it. I have to go home and pay a wedding bill, our wedding bill, and at the same time, I have to put her in the ground today. I shouldn't have to pay a wedding bill and a casket bill on the same day," he said tearfully.

"No, you shouldn't," the priest said. "God doesn't promise fairness, but you two had each other. She knew she was loved, and I know you loved her, still love her. You two made a life, a life you will need to continue to live. You have five grown children who will, in time, have happiness in their lives. You will continue for that, for them, and in time, you will find something to be happy about yourself."

Andy continued to nod as he stared at the ground. He pulled up his hand, and the priest nodded to it.

"Did you write something you'd like to say?" he gestured to the paper.

Andy looked to his hand, "No," he shook his head. "I don't think I can speak today. The kids and I talked about it at home last night. None of us would like to speak. I had to fight to get the small service here at the church she would have wanted instead of a big police spectacle, and the kids and I are good with that. We don't want to speak today. This needs to be just a day about Sharon."

The priest gestured to Andy's hand, "You just have a paper in your hand."

Andy nodded as he opened his hand, "A letter," he nodded. "The first time I told Sharon I loved her was in this letter, when I was in the hospital. I chickened out giving it to her then, but I gave it to her eventually, a couple days later, while still in the hospital. She's kept in in her nightstand drawer since then. I'd like to put it with her. It's hers, so I want her to keep it, you know when," he gestured.

The priest nodded, "When the time comes, we can put that with her in the casket. You mentioned her rings yesterday, correct?" the priest asked.

Andy nodded again, "Yes, Emily and I picked her outfit. Emily has the rings from Sharon's marriage to Jack. I'd like her rings today to keep for Ricky. When the time comes, Sharon would have wanted Ricky's wife to have her rings."

"It will be taken care of for you," the priest said as he stood. "Are you ready? The kids were in there, alone, as you'd suggested. I think they'd really like for you to join them before we move into the service."

Andy stood, "I'm ready. I have to be strong for them. I'm the only parent for Rusty, and I'd like to be whatever Emily and Ricky need."

The priest nodded, "Jack is here. He came, and I hope you are okay with that."

"He loved Sharon," Andy nodded, "even if he had a terrible way of showing it. He's their dad. I want today to be about Sharon, about our love for Sharon."

Andy moved through the motions of the day, and the next day, and the next. After several days, the condo grew quiet, until just he and Rusty were left.

"What's that?" Andy gestured to a box on the dining room table one morning when he came out for another cup of coffee. He hadn't been sleeping, and Rusty had noted he was on the balcony sitting in the chair, covered in Sharon's blanket, when he got up.

Rusty looked from his bowl of cereal. The two had been quiet in the condo, not because they were awkward around each other, but neither knew how to move forward, to move forward without Sharon.

"Lieutenant Provenza said you and I were going to clean out Sharon's office this morning before some lady named Davis did it for us," Rusty explained. He had a confused look, "Didn't the lieutenant tell you? It sounded like you knew about it, so I found a few boxes."

"No," Andy let out a long sigh. "He didn't tell me. I need to stop by work anyway, papers to drop off. Let's go. If we don't go today, I'm not sure when I'll have the strength to go." Rusty nodded, and the two got ready to leave the condo.

When the stepped off the elevator, they were greeted with sad eyes everywhere they turned. They had already been to a couple offices, mainly in human resources, and everyone gave them sympathetic looks. As they entered the office, Andy noted just how quiet it was. Their footsteps alerted the team, and as he and Rusty came into view, they were met with everyone's eyes staring back at them.

"We've come to," Andy held up the box, and the team gave them silent nods. No one said a word, and Andy and Rusty moved into Sharon's office and shut the door. Andy glanced up before he started to go through her desk and he found Provenza and the whole team watching him.

"Rusty," Andy said quietly as he tried to hold back his sob, "would you start on my desk?"

"Yeah, sure," Rusty nodded and disappeared quickly. Andy waited for him to close the door before he opened Sharon's drawer. He tried to move quickly; he would go through things later, and Sharon, unlike the chief, was not a packrat. Her desk was simple and organized. Files were left regarding cases. He slumped down against her desk when he came to a small box. He opened it to find all their dating history, ticket stubs, restaurant menus, ballet tickets, airline tickets from visiting Emily, everything. Sharon had kept it all.

Andy knew Rusty would find the one item he'd kept all these years as he emptied his desk, the beanbag. He'd kept it, tucked in the back of his drawer, and his only regret related to their work relationship was that he'd never told Sharon he still had it.

"Flynn," he heard and turned back to find Provenza coming in and closing the door. "Rusty?" he gestured toward Andy's desk.

"I'm retiring, Provenza. I've already turned in my paperwork to HR, just came from there. Kid can't lose another parent; I didn't do such a great job with my two kids, but I'm going to make sure Rusty has me around for him. I'm done. This job has taken the best of me in every area. I lost Sharon. I need to retire to watch out for all five kids and to make sure Rusty doesn't lose everyone."

"So, this is it?" he asked. "You know Davis is only temporary until we solve this case and have some time to grieve. Mason told me then the job is mine, but I already told him I was not moving offices. This isn't my office."

"I've lost the love of my life. I'm not setting foot back in here unless you call and tell me Rusty and I can personally hunt down and kill Stroh. Sharon's been worried about that, and I don't want to let my guard down too much right now, so you find him. You find him, and then, I'm done."

* * *

Okay, so I hope I'm really, really, really wrong, but I could see things playing out like this. I think Sharon is gone after Episode 8, and I think things could play out like this. Again, I hope I'm wrong. I see the "flu" as a distraction. She'll get over whatever it is. I think it's something from the bomb still. Just when we relax and settle in for the happy wedding, we'll get comfortable, and then I could see this. I set this up for the last few episodes. I could see the funeral scene in episode 9, and then Andy returns, the grief-stricken widower in the last arc to help find Stroh and rid his family of the guy once and for all. In the end, I see Rusty taking out Stroh, just my thoughts.


End file.
